It is high time churches should start talking about dating. This is because it is difficult for some Christian to keep their relationships and pure faith at the same time. As a Christian, when dating self-control is paramount to uphold the conviction. Relationships always come with a lot of love and fun that when is not handled correctly, then there might be some challenges. With prayers and honesty, the relationship can be holy and wholesome based on respect, love, and trust.
Setting rules for Christian dating could lead to Christian centered marriages. Following the guidelines of dating as Jesus followers can prevent Christians from unhealthy relationships.
1. Effective Communication.
Through communication, both of you has the opportunity to understand and know more about each other. This will provide an opportunity for both of you to identify if you are a good match. Sharing opinions, beliefs and thought will enable Christians to determine if the relationship has a promising future that can lead to marriage.
2. Dating with the aim of marriage.
As Christians, we should date with a purpose according to the gospel. This means, before deciding on a date someone, you should first consider if the person meets your qualifications of a spouse. This will help you stick in one perfect relationship rather than jumping from relationship to another. Dating without the purpose of a Christian is worthless.
Dating with the aim of marriage does not also tie you to one person even when things are not working out for you. Apart from being Christians, we are also human beings who have needs that should be satisfied. If things are not working out, end the relationship and pray for a befitting partner.
3. Have your fellow Christians around and always ask for advice.
When you are dating, always welcoming advises given to you by your fellow Christians. Do not walk this journey alone. Your feelings can sometimes deceive you and block you from seeing reality. There are some of the problems that your friends could identify that you cannot see. Failure to listen to people around you can lead to failure in marriages, which something can be prevented. Involving yourself in this discussion creates a positive, wholesome Christian environment.
Also, you can attend the dating groups in your church. Visiting these groups will help us understand how to handle issues of relationship. This will also give both of you a chance to be together more often but in public areas.
4. Have a list of principles and stick to them.
Before getting into a relationship, you need to set your stands and values of your future spouse. You cannot have a successful marriage if you don’t understand what you want as a Christian. The list should help you identify your rightful partner while dating. It should not act as a checklist but as a reminder of what you want. As a checklist I mean, you don’t go around interviewing people and confirming if they meet your qualifications.
Sticking to your principles does not mean you eliminate others just because they are not qualified. Some people are always willing to change. The heart of holiness and marriage are essential, so it cannot be thrown away just out of frustration and impatience.
Setting your boundaries and making them clear early in dating can also help. Restraining yourself from activities such as sexual relations, kissing, and special touches can help you from getting involved in sexual activities before marriage or if you needed you can try with the free chatlines service to chat all your sexual desires.
5. Don’t date Non-Christians.
The primary purpose of marriage to Christian is to perform the role of recreation and companionship as indicated in the bible. As a Christian, you should date your fellow Christian who understand what dating is and what its main aim is. Dating a non-Christian who doesn’t understand this can lead you into temptations like sex before marriage and others.
There are always difficult times in life when your whole world is crashing, and your faith is wavering, and the only thing you have left is your spouse. In this case, if your spouse is a strong Christian, he or she will pray and encourage you. When your spouse is non-Christian, then you can end up drifting away from God. So, it is advisable that you date a Christian, marry someone who loves Jesus and continue spreading the gospel as missionaries together.
6. Put God at the center of your relationship.
For a successful Christian relationship, you have to put God first. Pray together, read the bible for guidance, attend church and bible studies together. Spend some time reading the guidelines about marriage in the text. Stay pure until marriage and always remember to pray for your partner and thank God for them even if they are not around.
7. Don’t date someone because of the benefits you are receiving from them.
Dating and marriages cannot be successful if it’s based on what a person is giving you. This can include gifts, joy, peace, and purpose. Codependent dating will eventually lead to co-dependent marriage which will fail when there is nothing more to offer.
8. It is okay to get married.
If your desire is to get married, it’s okay because it’s a gift from God. To prove this, God saw Adam alone in the Garden of Eden; He saw that it is not good for a man to be alone and create Eve for marriage and procreation. The relationship is the most intimate community that God created.
9. It is okay not to get married.
Though marriage is a blessing from God, it is not a must if you are not interested. Not getting married is not a sin; hence it is okay if you are not fine with it. Don’t allow yourself to fall a victim of cultural pressure.
10. Have a pure mindset
When you want to date, have an open mind. It is not a guarantee that all Christians are virgins. Having sex before marriage is wrong. I agree with that, but some circumstances lead to that.
In conclusion, dating is a good thing and cording to the Bible, God wants us to find soul mates. When dating, make your partner fill loved by caring for them, spending quality time together talking to each other, learn more about each other and most importantly pray together.